David Bowie’s 1975 Autobiography, ‘The Return of the Thin White Duke’

At the height of his cocaine habit, David Bowie began writing an autobiography named ‘The Return of the Thin White Duke’. What has been written of it is extremely hard to find — I’ve been searching for this weird entity for a good year now, and I still can’t find the whole thing.

...But, I did find a few excerpts from it, which is what I’m sharing with you now.

Please note that there may be a few inaccuracies due to me having to dictate a some of these without being able to see the actual text.

And finally, a fair warning — It’s really weird.

The Return of the Thin White Duke

‘Soon you will be rolled by the illusion of a dawn that has been dragged out from the bowels of the vile entities of inhumanity. A false dawn, stripped of it’s puse and turgidism by the divine witch magnosium, the smog drab pretender who crawls up from the sewers from the suffocation of the witch’s omnipotent embrace to enter our hideous subdomain, stinking with eternal damnation.’

- Taken from Famous First Times - David Bowie and Gary Numan | S02E08

‘Vince was an American and came to England, then went to France and became a star of dirge.

But then he came back to England and we spoke of our Findings. He wore a white robe and and sandals and we sat in the busy London street with a map of the world and tried to find the people who were passing by and scowling at us. They were nowhere on the map.

Vince went back to France, then I heard about the famous show where he had told his band to go home and appeared in front of the curtains in that old white robe and sandals telling the French people about the comings and goings due upon us. He was banned from performing.

My records were selling and I was becoming a man in demand. I thought if Vince and wrote “Ziggy Stardust.” I thought of my brother and wrote “Five years.” Then my friend came to mind, standing the way we stood in Bewlay Bros. and I wrote “Moonage Daydream.”’

- Taken from The Rolling Stone, February 12th, 1976

’Fucking Magnauseum

I’m rigid with sensation. I feel my tongue lapping toward her womb. I move around and move around her and move and I move around to snatch and suck at the nape of her neck. The short curly hair tasting of some special brew, searched for, prepared and applied. I’m slow, hard, fast, solid then so slow and pulsating that I perceive the indifference of a time-warp. The gossamer sweat seems to pale her blackness to an almost drab yellow sheen.’

- Taken from Famous First Times - David Bowie and Gary Numan | S02E08

‘My grey flannel pants had been tapered at the cuffs to a tight thirteen inches. Waving aside the perry como, I chose for class today the thin blue almighty counting stripe with its stark white collar.

I catch sight of myself in the living room mirror and take pride in those buttocks. My cock looks bulgy and tough.’

- Taken from Famous First Times - David Bowie and Gary Numan | S02E08

You can talk to me in Instagram (@_.the.invisible.man._) if you’re feeling weirded out :3